作文求批！暴汗写了一个多小时，大家帮忙看看能上6吗？
The increase in production of consumer goods has resulted in damage of the natural environment. What are the causes of this phenomenon and what are the solutions?<br />
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Environment issues have turned out to be one of the most predominate concerns to the human race since the Industry Age. The increase production for the increase needs of our human-kind, however, has great negative influence on the surroundings. This essay will present how the increase affects the nature and what measures can be done to address these problems. <br />
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The boost in production of consumer goods mainly affects the environment by two aspects. The most products that we used daily are manufactured by various natural resources. That means the more products are made the more resources are needed and, as a result, the nature tends to be over mined by the human-beings, which is definitely harmful to the environment. Meanwhile the processes of production and consumption will undoubtedly generate numerous discharges such as carbon emission, waste electric and electronic equipment (WEEE) and domestic garbage. Such continuous discharged waste will therefore cause heavier the environmental burden as a return. Some research institute ever reported that the waste generated in the past decades would cost Earth thousands of years of degradation.<br />
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Since growing production would generate serious influence on the environment, certain approaches should be done to reverse this situation. First of all, people could change the consuming style that they are accustomed to. In other words, people should try their best to reuse the goods they behave and thus to lower their demands for new products. By doing this, the production would be reduced accordingly. Another solution is recycling. The materials are recycled at the end of consumption and reused as the alternative resources in the producing period, which will ensure the least resources mined from the nature.<br />
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Environment is facing the challenge from the increasing consumption, while it is possible for human-beings to develop sustainably by implementing the methods mentioned above.
先写点儿自己最近的心得，拿出来大家讨论讨论
人人为我，我为人人 （之前实在是没啥心得可以拿出来分享的 -_-#）
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最近集中看了好多雅思的范文，包括考官的评语
我个人理解 主题的论证过程很重要，其实主题是什么都无所谓，关键是你如何去证明自己的论点
这个是我花了很久才明白的一个道理，以前好像听人说过但是真的没有到那个程度理解不到，现在好像有些理解了
之前花了很多时间在作文的句式，结构上 后来发现很多5分的范文结构也都不错（可能都是模板）
词汇也还可以，但是为啥就是5分呢。看了考官的评语 基本上失分最多的就是论证不够深入，词语不够多样化
现在我再写作文开始关注这两方面了 主体段基本上2-3个论点足以 每个论点要至少2句支持句 support sentences
如果论证的比较抽象 最好辅以例子说明，当然越容易让西方人理解越好， 例子不要太长 插入语的方式最好
中国特有的例子尽量不要举
词汇方面 尽量主题词汇不要多次重复 如需重复可以在词性用法上做些改变
还有不到20天 就考试了 打算按照这个思路练下去 趁着假期多写几篇作文
争取过段时间能提高速度！
等考试成绩出来后，我再来汇报成果
带评语的范文哪里有？麻烦指点一下。
今天看韩寒战方公鸡，心情很糟糕，无法冷静的点评。哀其不幸怒其不争，丫太花心了，又不是林志颖，靠脸蛋吃饭，大好的青春分心玩别的，文字水平就不能保持住水准。
I mean 剑桥雅思3-7 后面的范文 当然是非考官系列的才有评语
我是为了找出5-7分作文的差别在哪里 有针对性的训练
搂住，6不是目标，只要不偏题一般都有6。。。
不见得，我觉得lz的英语确实不怎么好啊。
我就评一下第一段吧，不正确的地方请大家指正。
首先从行文来讲，我局的第一句话和第二句话颠倒一下比较合适。否则逻辑不清晰
the increase production怎么解释，increase是动词或者名词啊, 灵活使用increasing and increased
Environment issues（issue？） have turned out to be one of the most predominate concerns to（of 好一些？） the human race since the Industry（industrial) Age. The increase production for the increase needs of our human-kind, however, has great negative influence(impact是不是更好？) on the surroundings. This essay will present how the increase（特指一下human needs or production） affects the nature and what measures can be done（taken？） to address these problems.
还有几处不确定俺就不说了
给我的感觉是lz中间段写得挺好，但是开头结尾真的不是太好。
不过lz 听读都蛮不错的哈，一起努力吧！
increase用错了吧。。。楼主加油吧 多看看澳洲的新闻 比如abc.com.au
今天我看一篇介绍澳洲首富的新闻，学了一个hone的词。。
灰常感谢
确实疏忽了 increase 是动词 被我误当作形容词用了
根据你的提示 我把这些问题都修正了一下
逻辑问题 我觉得应该从大到小吧 从面到点 逐步引入主题
我写第二句的目的是从背景（环境问题重要）过渡到主题（增长的生产引起环境污染的原因以及对策）
ps:由此看来 我作文被打5.5分是有原因的 写作的时候经常就信手拈来 不够审慎，而功底不深势必造成漏洞百出
Environmental issues have turned out to be one of the most predominate concerns of the human race since the Industry Age. The increased production for the increasing needs of our human-kind, however, has great negative influence on the surroundings. This essay will present how the increase in production affects the nature and what measures can be taken to address these problems.