作文求批！暴汗写了一个多小时，大家帮忙看看能上6吗？

忽忽玄的老汗

The increase in production of consumer goods has resulted in damage of the natural environment. What are the causes of this phenomenon and what are the solutions?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Environment issues have turned out to be one of the most predominate concerns to the human race since the Industry Age. The increase production for the increase needs of our human-kind, however, has great negative influence on the surroundings. This essay will present how the increase affects the nature and what measures can be done to address these problems.



The boost in production of consumer goods mainly affects the environment by two aspects. The most products that we used daily are manufactured by various natural resources. That means the more products are made the more resources are needed and, as a result, the nature tends to be over mined by the human-beings, which is definitely harmful to the environment. Meanwhile the processes of production and consumption will undoubtedly generate numerous discharges such as carbon emission, waste electric and electronic equipment (WEEE) and domestic garbage. Such continuous discharged waste will therefore cause heavier the environmental burden as a return. Some research institute ever reported that the waste generated in the past decades would cost Earth thousands of years of degradation.



Since growing production would generate serious influence on the environment, certain approaches should be done to reverse this situation. First of all, people could change the consuming style that they are accustomed to. In other words, people should try their best to reuse the goods they behave and thus to lower their demands for new products. By doing this, the production would be reduced accordingly. Another solution is recycling. The materials are recycled at the end of consumption and reused as the alternative resources in the producing period, which will ensure the least resources mined from the nature.



Environment is facing the challenge from the increasing consumption, while it is possible for human-beings to develop sustainably by implementing the methods mentioned above.

忽忽玄的老汗

不好意思 记混了
想起来了 我这篇的开头一句就是出自你的文笔
敬仰敬仰
你的词汇用的那叫一个绝~
对了 你推荐的那个网址我找不到了 能再贴一下吗？

ouumbmmsu84

挺高深的没咋看懂。

vs6z8o3n8

STEP BY STEP 那个大神帖可不是我开的啊，不敢冒领。

忽忽玄的老汗

介词对于我来说绝对算得上高级错误了，
我倒不是故意原创，而是读起来这样顺口就这样写了 我填介词全靠感觉了
over past decades 这个词组搭配不错 学习了~

忽忽玄的老汗

说实话那几个单词早把我绕晕了 写的时候就有点儿瞎用了
刚查了字典 是这三个
human race
human beings
mankind
关于连字符 我个人认为可有可无

忽忽玄的老汗

谢谢 ：） 我的目标就是拿6分
但是这篇文章是写好久的   考试时也能写出来这样的算万幸了

忽忽玄的老汗

大神出现了~
我真是拜读了你的step by step后有很多感悟 但是实践起来还需要练习
那句话我很喜欢 觉得很有气魄 可惜极性实在是差 经常背错单词 输出能力太差了 -_-#

我的词汇绝对绝对是我的硬伤

hageo

小胖同学口气有点直接啊。

LZ的第一句应该是借鉴了我的另外一个回帖：
http://www.localau.com/viewthread.php?tid=995780&page=1#pid3910026

但是LZ改写的过程中出了些小错误：形容词应该是predominant, 工业时代应该是Industrial Age.

后面的部分，主要是increase的词性，还有反复出现increase，词汇变化贫乏，都是会导致失分的地方。LZ的词汇根底有点欠缺，需要加强。

in the past decades, 这个用法是没问题的，over 是用来强调在一段时间内逐渐发生的状况，如果前面的谓语部分没有很明显的“缓慢发生”的特点，没有必要用over。
decade 单数指10年，复数指几十年，都是可以灵活使用的。

xiaofanou

我觉得写的比我好，我也还有20天就考试了

这个应该可以拿6的