雅思5.5的童鞋大作文求修改,十分感谢

金银神策

1. Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

To become an active (and positive) member of society, there are lots of things that children should be taught. (用to become 开头，后面半句的主语必须是人了，你用的是there is，前后不搭了)Although it is controversial on this issue whether school or parents should take this responsibility, I believe that both sides should shoulder their duties.

For some reasons（凑字的没什么意义） some people think that schooling play the pivotal role for children's growth. Firstly, some basic skills such as literacy and other practical skills, which most children acquire at school, are extremely important even if they are（have been） grown up. Currently, it is undeniable that children's education background determines the class in society which a child belongs to.(determines which class in the society a child belongs to....) Besides the practical skills, school also teaches children the rules and values they need to (need to know,至少得有个know，to )become good citizens, （as well as how）to participate in the community and to contribute to the economic prosperity. Finally,(studying at) school is the occasion that children learn how to communicate with each other(others 足矣) and how to express themselves as well. Children will profit from these experiences even if（这个逻辑不是转折，是发展的，有一个连词叫after，有一个词组叫as soon as） they enter society.

However, other people insist that parents have the main responsibility to enable the children to adapt to adulthood lives. To begin with, they argue that parents are not only the ones who give birth for children, but also ones whom children could rely on before they are able to live independently. (大哥你这句从句太复杂了。。。parents are not give birth for children,but also on whom children rely before....)Without parents, children would not be able to survive. What is more, parents are idols to children since the day they were brought to the world. (时态不对，前面完成进行时，后面一般完成时，基础语法问题)In other words, children tend to imitate their parents' behaviour and even thinking. In this way parents mould children's characters and soul inevitably before they attending school.

In my opinion, both parent and school are essential roles for children on the way they are grown up. Parents give children life, and school imparts children practical skills to make them more perfec（better）t. Both of them should take the duty of children's growing.

最后那个词应该是growth吧。。。