朋友的第一篇雅思作文，请大虾们帮忙看看！谢谢啦！

p2y6q9b3q5m

一起准备雅思的朋友的第一篇作文，请大虾们帮忙看看和改改。因为她的帐号还有些问题不能发帖，所以代为帮她发出来。



With the background of economic globalization, mastering a foreign language is becoming more and more important to most of us and the next generation. Then is it the earlier, the better to start learning it? Some experts say yes to this question and suggest children should begin learning foreign languages at primary school rather than secondary school. In my opinion, however, there’re more disadvantages than the advantage of this proposal.



Firstly, putting foreign languages into children’s curriculum is equal to putting extra unnecessary burden on their shoulders. The tasks of a primary school education include passing basic knowledge and skills to children and mold their good personalities, while a foreign language is not one of them. It may be more beneficial for a child to spend the time on playing outside than taking the language classes, because young children develop themselves more likely in playing and games.



Things can be even worse if starting learning too early kills the learners’ interest and enthusiasm on foreign languages. Some Chinese parents tend to show off the short-term achievement of their children, in the way of ‘Look, my kid can speak English!’ Actually it is possible that this kind of short-tem achievement turns to be a bad beginning if the children are pushed to learn it in a mood, probably resulting in a life-long problem of their language learning.



On the other hand, there are, of course, some noticeable advantages too. The main argument in its favor is that young children pick up languages more easily than teenagers. But this advantage may not be true for all the children, especially for those who are not interested.  



In conclusion, weighing the pros and cons, I don’t think learning a foreign language in earlier stage of children is always a good idea. It can be a wiser solution to make it just an optional course and not to push any children to learn it unwillingly.



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快乐方糖

估计得分在6-6.5分吧

baitashanxia

没看到example

cjlkqkd1b

6.5.。。。

被人叫做jy

句式没有变化，词语不多，5分半。

rrqk9295

第二句话歧义，可以改成一个主语从句：some people suggest to learn another language earlier,will this way better?
因为虽然the earlier the better做为肯定句式不错，但是生硬的变其为反问，容易表意不清，找不到主语。

pma97qkn

In my opinion 和后面的 however要调换位置，现在的意思是自己把自己反义了。。。

一歌的生活

mold应为ing形式，与passing是并列的；
建议自己写完后要修改和润色，如果批卷人是鬼佬，这些细节他们一眼就能看出，就像我们看错别字一样显眼

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of course不要随便用。。。

p2y6q9b3q5m

人多力量大啊。太感谢大家了～