第一篇作文，各位大虾们帮忙看看啊！ 拜谢了！

Jin_Ming

前前后后准备了好几个月了，一直没有写出一篇完整的作文。（今天太气人了，驾校的师傅坑我几次，变相让我交钱。实在受不了这些人了。）



然后下午在家憋了一下午写了作文，各位大虾帮忙看看啊，谢谢啦！（step by step 是经典啊，我完全按照它说的行文来写的作文）







Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? (IELTs-9; Test1)





Children are sent to school to acquire a variety of knowledge and skills. Foreign language is widely considered as one of the necessary skill for young children. This essay will discuss significant benefits from learning a foreign language for children at primary school in china and some disadvantages will be given as well.  (53)



There are some benefits from learning a foreign language for young children at primary school. For those children who are planning to study aboard after they finish their primary school, after about 6 years of learning English at primary school, they are more capable to use English as a living skill in English speaking countries and help them to start their secondary school aboard more smoothly. On the other hand, for those children are not going aboard, start learning a foreign language as early as from primary school will help them to start learning advanced foreign language and cultivate the interests in learning foreign languages. (105)



There are also some disadvantages for young children to learning a foreign language in primary school. For example, in china, besides the required Chinese and Mathematic are mandatory curriculums, they are sent to several different clubs or private school to learn painting, piano, or Chinese chess. They complain a lot for those pressures and they do not have time to learn a foreign language at primary school. This will probably have a negative impact for young children’s psychological development. Future more, the foreign language education system at some of the primary school is not well established and the education resources are not allocated wisely, especially in those rural areas. As a consequence, children are likely to loose interest in learning foreign languages, and this will have a long term effect on their future studies. (134)



Foreign language as a needed skill is widely accepted by people all over the world. Even though there are some disadvantages for children to learn a foreign language at an early age in some rural areas, I still believe that children should start learning a foreign language as early as they enter the primary school.  (55)



Total 351 words.

林丽123

Children are sent to school to acquire a variety of knowledge and skills. Foreign language is widely considered as one of the necessary skill(skills) for young children. This essay will discuss significant benefits from learning a foreign language for children at primary school in china and some disadvantages will be given(多余) as well.  (53)

There are some benefits from learning a foreign language for young children at primary school (这句上段说过了，得换个说法). For those children who are planning to study aboard after they finish their primary school, after about 6 years of learning English at primary school, they are more capable to use (be capable of doing) English as a living skill in English speaking countries and （这个and前后的主语不一致。前面是they，后面是learning English）help them to start their secondary school aboard more smoothly. On the other hand, for those children are not going aboard, start(starting, 你是用分词做主语) learning a foreign language as early as from primary school will help them to start learning advanced foreign language and cultivate the interests in learning foreign languages. (105)

There are also some disadvantages for young children to learning(to learn) a foreign language in primary school. For example, in china, besides the required Chinese and Mathematic are mandatory curriculums, they are sent to several different clubs or private school(schools) to learn painting, piano, or Chinese chess. They complain a lot for those pressures and they do not have time to learn a foreign language at primary school. This will probably have a negative impact for(on) young children’s psychological development. Future more(Furthermore), the foreign language education system at some of the primary school is not well established and the education resources are not allocated wisely, especially in those rural areas. As a consequence, children are likely to loose(lost) interest in learning foreign languages, and this will have a long term effect(impact) on their future studies. (134)

Foreign language as a needed skill is widely accepted by people all over the world(Foreign language ... is accepted? 有点怪). Even though there are some disadvantages for children to learn a foreign language at an early age in some rural areas, I still believe that children should start learning a foreign language as early as they enter the primary school.  (55)

Jin_Ming

thanks a lot! 我都没注意到上面还有很多基本的用词错误啊！谢谢啦！