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[雅思杂谈] 求批判作文

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楼主
发表于 2013-3-13 14:13:52 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式 来自: INNA

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本人第一次准备烤鸭,对作文了解的不多,大概知道要有结构,层次分明,切中主题讨论,因此练了几篇,特发上来求坛友批判,说说缺点在哪里,水平大概可以得多少分,谢谢了!

Some people think that parents should spend time reading or telling stories to their children, while others think that children should read by themselves through a variety of other sources, such as books, TV and the Internet. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

P1 模板固定,背景+争论+我的观点(双方都对)

P2。随时解答,让孩子解决疑惑;引导,教授,远离不良;缺点:过于依赖

P3 提高理解能力,记得牢;独立性;缺点:容易接触不良信息, 知识吸收慢

P4, 我的观点,两方面都考虑, 理解不了的,父母指导,同时兼顾自读,父母监督,促进全面发展

平衡写,约310字

In present-day society, how children reading becomes a commonly discussed issue. Some people argues that parents should accompany their children on reading and telling stories, while others consider that children should read individually by searching information, As far as I am concerned, both of them are reasonable but partial.



It is obviously that parents’ assistance with their children’s reading is considered as efficient and convenient. The most important merit is that whenever children are probably confused by some description of expression, parents could immediately tackle their problem and make them understand the actual meaning. This is because children’s intelligences are continuously developing and they need to learn gradually. Thus the parents’ help could enrich their knowledge.Then another significant merit is that, parents could generally conduct their children to chase relatively correct and primal knowledge. If children totally read by themselves, they might contact negative contents like violence. However, children might excessively depend on their parent’s conduction and lose their own thoughts and opinions.



Children’s reading independently also should be regarded as an important point. At first, reading by themselves could cultivate their own abilities of understanding and enhance their memories. The reason is that they could be deeply impressed by the knowledge they search by themselves.

Then children’s independence of reading could improve their independent characters and abilities of handling problems. Most children should grow up gradually with their own propositions and abilities and they need training. But there are usually negative effects. For instance, if they collect and search resources without any limits, they probably might be attracted by disadvantageous information like pornography.



To conclude, I strongly suggest that, children should read not only by themselves, but also by their parents’ assistance. Under this circumstance, therefore, children can develop their thoughts individually and grow up gradually with comprehensive knowledge which could make them adapt the adults’ society.



[]



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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-13 19:23:28 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


自己顶啊!


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板凳
发表于 2013-3-13 23:42:15 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


帮顶一下


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地板
发表于 2013-3-14 04:17:10 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


LZ你的语法要下狠功阿,另外表达方式太中国化了。估计5分左右吧
多看范文,多写写,然后别人帮改了以后记住以后不要再犯这些错误,加油咯


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5#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-14 14:07:25 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA




谢谢批评!我再努力改正


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